More Than Just Giving: Type 2 Subtypes

I’m fortunate to have taken a training on Instincts & Subtypes with Peter O’Hanrahan. He shared theories on how we develop a dominant instinct for either Self-preservation, Social belonging, or One-on-one relating. Said theories exceed the scope of this post, but Peter used a poignant metaphor I’d like to adopt—a 3 legged stool. He spoke of one’s dominant instinct as a “short leg” that throws the stool off balance.  The key is to balance the stool by evening out these 3 legs—but how?

The first step is to know your Subtype, a.k.a your dominant instinct, so you can "check" the tendency to invest more energy in that instinctual arena. If you don't do this, you're pretty much sunk as far as working with these instincts (at least from my somewhat opinionated point of view).

Once you've learned to “check” the instinct you rely on most heavily/automatically, some energy starts getting “freed up.” Now you can redistribute that energy towards the other two instincts. I like to think of this as juicing up the secondary and tertiary instincts by “using them on purpose” - making conscious efforts to go forth and relate to the world through them.

With this in mind, let’s explore the subtype energies as they manifest for Enneagram Type 2s:

If you’re an Enneagram 2, it can benefit you to understand how your generosity, helping, emotional “antenna” for others’ needs, flattery/seduction, pride, reciprocal giving, and literally ALL components of your type structure get channeled primarily through a particular instinctual drive!

Where is your giving and connection-seeking “aimed?”

• Is it aimed at nurturing people in soft/maternal ways, having a warm presence, “making your house a home,” giving to others through the physical/material, and enjoying family life? (Here, “family life” can also mean creating a “family feeling” wherever you go.)

• Is it aimed at leveraging your social connections/abilities for the benefit of others, capturing the attention of audiences, and helping people rise within groups/institutions by “shaking all the right hands?”

• Or is it aimed at enrapturing individual others through seductive charm, inspiring/cultivating passionate attractions, and giving intense, focused affection to the important individual others in your life (one at a time)?

These are three very different ways of “living out” the Type 2 passion of Pride. Your Subtype not only affects how others perceive/experience your “Two-ness,” but also the kind of self-work that will be most effective for you (and your specific expression of the type). Let’s dive a bit deeper:

Self Preservation 2: Privilege/Entitlement

These 2s give off warm, “mothering,” parental energy OR “youthful and charming” childlike energy. Sometimes (paradoxically) it’s a bit of both. They give to others through nurturing and/or through fun, lighthearted positivity. In either case, however, there can be a certain sense of entitlement. They can feel entitled to the people in their lives, which may lead to crossed boundaries. They can also feel entitled to receiving appreciation, attention, and “special exceptions” (even if they give nothing more to others than "the gift of their presence").

These 2s are also the most ambivalent about connection. They’re naturally inclined towards connection with people, but the Self-preservation instinct makes them more concerned about safety than Social or One-on-one 2s. This ends up translating to “relational safety” - meaning they can have more difficulty actually trusting their connections with people. For SP 2s, the fear of getting hurt in relationship may slightly impair the classic strategy of moving towards others to achieve connection.

Social 2: Ambition

These 2s give off a somewhat cool and patrician energy. Beatrice Chesnut refers to this Subtype as the “Power-Two,” because they get “a sense of satisfaction in the conquest of an audience,” and enjoying wielding influence. I might even call this Subtype the “power-leveraging" 2, because they give to others by introducing them to the right people and helping them get ahead in life. They use connections to make connections, in a sense. They are particularly skilled at navigating hierarchical group contexts.

These 2s may or may not end up in positions of visible power themselves, but they always hold some degree of social power because they can “juice” their relationships to make big things happen. Through this tactic, they help others succeed—and reap their own relational benefits in return. They're aware that giving can offer strategic advantages later on. If you're trying to get somewhere in life, and need to be "plugged into the social pipeline,” then a Social 2 is likely the exact person you’re looking for.

One-on-One 2: Aggression/Seduction

This Subtype is the “all about you” 2. When their attention is trained on you, it’s like you’re at the center of their universe. They give to others through laser-focused affection, most often with a passionate/amorous tone to it. These 2s are “lovers” more than they are givers or helpers—they seek fulfillment by seducing individual others who will meet all their needs and desires. Beatrice Chesnut calls this Subtype the “Double-Two” because the classic Type 2 drive for love and connection is amplified by the One-on-one instinct for closeness and intense intimacy.

It could also be said that, for these 2s, love is the “axis” on which their world turns. Chesnut points out that “Sexual Twos justify their actions, words, madness, wildness, invasiveness, and selfishness in the name of love, as if love were the only emotion, the center of life, the experience that justifies everything.” These 2s could be called “aggressively loving,” as they are in hot pursuit of the intimate connections that will make them feel loved, desired, and satisfied. They will give you all their love, if you will give them all of yours.

To explore more about Type 2 and its subtypes, check out our monthly support groups on the first Monday of each month or join us at our next monthly workshop! You can see all of our upcoming events here. You can also work one-on-one with us by emailing us here.

*Shoutout to the Enneagram masters: I owe my understanding of Instinctual Subtypes to a long list of authors and teachers, but extra special credit goes to Peter O’Hanrahan, Helen Palmer, Beatrice Chesnut, and Ginger Lapid-Bogda